Allo’ Allo’

May 2007

We will let René Artois the owner of the local Cafe in Nouvion in wartime France explains his predicament:

Those of you who have been paying attention will know that this is my café. It is as you see now open. How peaceful it all looks. But shortly it will be full of Germans who I have to be nice to and my wife who I have to be nice to, and my serving girls Mimi and Yvette who I enjoy being nice to when my wife isn’t about. Upstairs is my wife’s mother who nobody enjoys being nice to.

A fairly normal café in wartime France you might say. Do not be deceived. In my cellar I am hiding two British airmen. If the Germans find them I will be shot. In my kitchen is hanging a decaying knockwurst sausage which contains the priceless portrait of the Fallen Madonna with the big boobies by that master knocker painter Van Klomp. I am hiding it for the Germans.

If the Resistance finds out I will shot. If my wife finds out that I am having an affair with Mimi I will be shot. If Mimi finds out that I am having an affair with Yvette she will shoot me, as will Yvette if she finds out about Mimi. My life expectancy is about the same as an over-ripe Camembert.


The French


René Artois

Paul Riddy

Edith Artois

Christine Suggars


Sian Francis

Mimi La Bonque

Tracy Gould

M Leclerc

Lol Smith


Sylvie Townsend


James Walters
Amy Batchelor

The Germans and Italians


Col. Von Strohn

Keith Popely

Helga Geerhart

Lynda Collins

Capt. Alberto Bertorelli

Richard Fitt

Herr Flick

Simon Ockenden

Lieut. Gruber

Lawrence Allwright

Gen. Von Schmelling

Derek Giles

The English


Robin Walters

Airman I

Steve Leader

Airman II

Chris Clifton


Production Manager

Ian Francis


Les Roberts

Stage Manager

Jonathan Shadlock

Set Design

Paul Robbins


Chris Glenton


Scott Andrews

Props & Costumes

Lynda Collins


Richard Fitt
Christine Suggars


Christine Suggars

Front Of House Manager

Ian Jackson

Front Of House

Members of VAMPS & The St Neots Players

Box Office

St Neots Priory Centre